Last summer I was taken in by the Twilight saga train. It took some convincing by Mar to get me to read the first book.
Hook line and sinker. I was obsessed. Not in an unhealthy-I-dream-of-Edward-Cullen-and-think-he-will-rescue-me-and-make-me-a-vampire-so-we-can-spend-eternity-together. No, this was just a hunger to find out the story of our dear Edward and Bella.
Truth: I read the last 10-15 pages of the second in the series before I read the first page. I had to make sure Edward wasn't a dickwad.
In the next few months, I began wondering a lot about vampires and werewolves. What they were capable of and such. The book leaves a lot to the imagination. And I had a lot of free time to think of whatever I wanted while I "managed vegetation" for four months.
I began keeping notepads (hotel complimentary, obviously) at my side at all times. Each titled "Vampire Ponderings." I needed a system to keep track of what I well, pondered. Here is a conglomeration of afore mentioned notepads (recently discovered in another notebook):
1. Can vampires be poisoned?
2. How long would it take Edward to cool my coffee? Or turn milk to ice cream?
3. How long would it take Edward to kill oh, 2 hectares of trees?
4..... or a rainforest?
5. How long would it take Edward to turn a bath into a hot tub?
6. How long would it take a vampire to race across the world? Or Canada?
7. Could Edward walk across water, like Jesus? (disclaimer: I am in NO way claiming a vampire nor Edward are comparable to Jesus). Just saying.
8. Werewolves vs. vampires: could they have a baby together? (I HAD thought early on if vampires could have babies, and I was ill-timely informed that they could, alluding to the plot of the fourth book. I was distraught only briefly. More Edward Cullens make the world a happier place.)
9. Can vampires eat food at all? Does it digest? Do they have to use the washroom or does it just, like, disappear in their system if they do consume it? Do they taste it? Do they enjoy it, or is it like eating wind?
10. Do they sweat?
11. Do vampires daydream?
12. Do they need to shower? Or does it make them loose their sparkle?
13. Do they have nerves and feel/enjoy things like showering?
14. Can vampires grow fingernails? Does their hair grow?
15. Is there one super-smart vampire that has been around for ages and makes fake identities for all the other vampires so they can live undetected for so long??
These next few were titled "Kirsten's Vampire Theories." After much debate between Amy and I, certain issues and questions regarding the two mythical humans were resolved, and a conclusion was drawn:
15. Vampires cannot be inebriated or tipsy in any way, really. The logic here being that they do not have blood therefore cannot have alcohol or similar substances enter the bloodstream therefore not affecting them. Plus, Edward is perfect and there is no need to get him hammered - how can he fly you to perfect meadows at a moments notice safely under the influence??
16. Related to the previous: Vampires cannot fail a Blood Alcohol Level test. Although they may not even register. (Disclaimer, again: Obviously, this is not to condone drunk driving.)
17. Vampires cannot reproduce. Because they just cannot. However, as previously mentioned, this thought was shattered.
18. Vampires cannot gain weight. You ever seen a fat vampire??? I really do not think they can get enough blood, so not matter how much they consume they never put on the pounds. They can lose it, however, when starved. Boo yah.
19. Vampires cannot enjoy Reese Puffs cereal. Because they are immune to the side effects of eating copious amounts (ie. massive caloric intake = weight gain), they cannot understand the satisfaction one needs to derive from eating a small portion of them. It is just not fair if they could eat them.
Besides vampires, little else is new and worthy of mentioning at the moment. Plus, it is hard to type with a cast on so I'd really rather not bother. Well, I did break my wrist. And it was my lovely 26th birthday last week. I celebrated with pizza and beer. Best birthday in a year :)
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